Flashback Saturday: Hip Mom Rule #1

I started these Hip Mom Rules when I was pregnant with my second child. Now that my children are older, it's fun to look back on these rules and see how they've shaped who I am as a mom to three boys as we head into their late elementary and middle school years. I'll be posting a new Hip Mom Rule every other Wednesday and a Flashback rule on the alternating Saturdays until I catch up! If you don't want to miss one, go ahead and subscribe! It would make my day. :)

 Hip Mom Rule #1: It Still Matters
I knew I shouldn’t do it. I know better. You NEVER wear brown leather shoes with black pants. But, being 33 weeks pregnant and exhausted from a day of chasing around an 18-month old, I thought, “Who is really going to care what color shoes I have on when I can’t even see my own feet!” Besides, with a good-looking husband and a cute toddler, who would really notice me anyway?

Once we got to the mall, I became increasingly irritated by my poor shoe selection. I'm normally more pulled together than this. My husband looked great; my toddler looked adorable. And please don't misunderstand. It wasn't that I cared a bit about what others thought of my outfit; it was all about the fact that I hadn't taken time to dress myself confidently. I was suddenly and acutely aware of how little time I had been spending on myself as I addressed the needs of my growing family.

The thing with pregnancy and new momhood is that we tend to put others’ needs well before our own. By the time we catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror, we barely resemble the put-together, hip women that we used to be. Instead, a bedraggled, exhausted woman stares back. At no time in my pre-baby life would I have let being tired prevent me from making at least SOME effort.

A hip mom won’t be “put-together” every time she walks out the door, but this hip mom will NOT walk out the door again just not caring. Therefore, I will not leave for Target in my sweat pants. I will not be in my pajamas when my husband gets home from work. I will not go three days without washing my hair, and then cover the evidence with an old, dirty baseball cap. Black pants, black socks. And if this means asking my husband to tie the shoelaces on the only shoes that match those  black pants, then so be it.

I want to be my best version of myself, and I see that as including being a hip mom. For that reason, I will continue fighting to maintain some semblance of my fashionable self in this new maze of dirty diapers, stained shirts, and perfume d’spitup.

Hip Mom Rule #14: Be on Time

Invariably, it happens as you’re walking out the door without a minute to spare. You reach down to zip up your toddler’s jacket and are immediately overcome by the unmistakable aroma of a fresh, full, poopy diaper, that has, of course, exploded out the back of the diaper and up the clean shirt you just put on him. No problem. You get the diaper changed, zip up the jacket, and finally head out the door, a little late. But wait; it’s time to feed the baby. No, the baby will not wait. She needs to be fed RIGHT NOW!! Resigned to the fact that you will be very late, you unzip the toddler’s jacket and sit down to pacify the baby with a quick snack.

Yes, this happens. Especially when you have an infant on hand. You never know what the next crisis will be, but you can bet that the minute you need to get out the door, a crisis will hit. And soon enough, you resign yourself to being chronically late.

New moms are given a lot of leeway in the timeliness department because veteran moms know that while you may have been able to get yourself out of bed and out the door in under forty-five minutes before you had children, there is no way you can do it with children. And it takes a long time for parents to realize that they need to add time to their routine for the mishaps that are guaranteed to happen.

I learned this lesson the hard way – as the victim of a chronically late friend. We would schedule a time to meet. I would scurry around, getting the diapers changed, feeding the baby, combing my hair, tossing on a hip (yet casual) outfit while throwing together a diaper bag, all in a mad dash to get out the door so I could be at the designated place at the designated time. Inevitably, I would show up on time and my friend would show up anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour later, always lamenting about how hard it is to get two kids out the door. I really like my friend, but being a hip mom with a busy schedule, I don’t have time to always wait and wait (and worry that something bad has happened), so eventually I stopped making plans to get together with her.

It is easy to blame our children for our inability to be on time, but truthfully, being on time is a matter of planning and foresight. And it’s important. If it takes you half an hour to get yourself ready to get out the door, plan on starting an hour early, because now you have more than just yourself to worry about. If a true disaster occurs, deal with it and call your friend to let them know you’ll be late. It isn’t easy, and you won’t always be on time, but a hip mom will make the effort.