Hip Mom Rule #15: Pay attention to warning signs

I was just picking my kids up from their childcare when the fire alarm went off, shattering the otherwise peaceful environment of the building. The first blare of the alarm took us a little by surprise. The second blare startled my youngest. The third blare set them all off, crying and screaming to leave. My 3-year-old had just watched the fire safety video from the library, and I’m sure visions of a burning down building, fire trucks, water hoses, and imminent disaster were racing through his brain faster than he could process the situation. He started to panic and began pulling his younger brother and me toward the door with as much determination as I’ve ever seen him muster.

Meanwhile, well-intentioned adults came over to try to console him. “Don’t worry, kiddo,” they said. “It’s just a fire alarm.” As I hustled to get out the door to pacify my son and, to be honest, to get away from the annoying blare of the alarm, I pondered what had just been said. Just a fire alarm. No worries here. Fire alarms just warn us when there is a fire. A FIRE!

Okay, granted, it was just an alarm. There was no fire, and no permanent harm was done. But there was harm in teaching my children that the warning should be ignored.

As a hip and informed mom, I know there are warning signs everywhere, and it is hard to know when to heed them and when to let time resolve the situation. Surely, a hip mom doesn’t have time to take every breaking news story about the dangers of your carseat/dish soap/bubble bath/cosmetics/car model, etc. seriously. Who wants to be the mom that the hospital receptionist knows by name because you run your kids in to the doctor at every sniffle? And you cannot live in constant fear of the worst possible outcome and still be a calm, collected, hip mom.

Still, warning signs exist for a reason – some danger is lurking that could endanger you or your family. The trick is to learn which warning signs are real and which ones you can ignore. More importantly, a hip mom will discern which warning signs she wants her kids to take seriously, knowing full well that they are paying close attention to her every move. Personally, I want my kids to understand that a fire alarm means to get out of the building, even if it means leaving their coolest, favorite jacket behind. They can always go back and get it later. I might not always be able to go back and get them later.

Hip Mom Rule #14: Be on Time

Invariably, it happens as you’re walking out the door without a minute to spare. You reach down to zip up your toddler’s jacket and are immediately overcome by the unmistakable aroma of a fresh, full, poopy diaper, that has, of course, exploded out the back of the diaper and up the clean shirt you just put on him. No problem. You get the diaper changed, zip up the jacket, and finally head out the door, a little late. But wait; it’s time to feed the baby. No, the baby will not wait. She needs to be fed RIGHT NOW!! Resigned to the fact that you will be very late, you unzip the toddler’s jacket and sit down to pacify the baby with a quick snack.

Yes, this happens. Especially when you have an infant on hand. You never know what the next crisis will be, but you can bet that the minute you need to get out the door, a crisis will hit. And soon enough, you resign yourself to being chronically late.

New moms are given a lot of leeway in the timeliness department because veteran moms know that while you may have been able to get yourself out of bed and out the door in under forty-five minutes before you had children, there is no way you can do it with children. And it takes a long time for parents to realize that they need to add time to their routine for the mishaps that are guaranteed to happen.

I learned this lesson the hard way – as the victim of a chronically late friend. We would schedule a time to meet. I would scurry around, getting the diapers changed, feeding the baby, combing my hair, tossing on a hip (yet casual) outfit while throwing together a diaper bag, all in a mad dash to get out the door so I could be at the designated place at the designated time. Inevitably, I would show up on time and my friend would show up anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour later, always lamenting about how hard it is to get two kids out the door. I really like my friend, but being a hip mom with a busy schedule, I don’t have time to always wait and wait (and worry that something bad has happened), so eventually I stopped making plans to get together with her.

It is easy to blame our children for our inability to be on time, but truthfully, being on time is a matter of planning and foresight. And it’s important. If it takes you half an hour to get yourself ready to get out the door, plan on starting an hour early, because now you have more than just yourself to worry about. If a true disaster occurs, deal with it and call your friend to let them know you’ll be late. It isn’t easy, and you won’t always be on time, but a hip mom will make the effort.